It’s been strange week … busy and sometimes unreal-seeming but over all good.

From a couple of phone calls and emails I know that things are going well for W – that he is loving most of his classes enough to make up for the one with the teacher who seems hell bent on scaring them all away. The demands on his time are mounting but he seems to be handling them as well as could be expected.

There were a few days there where he made no contact and I found myself in a small freakout. I say ‘small’ because even though it was an unreasonable and, okay, quite silly progression of thoughts running through my head on ‘repeat,’  I was aware that they were quite silly thoughts and was simultaneously thinking them and laughing at myself for thinking them. They went something like this, “Oh my gosh, is he okay? Of course he’s okay. He’s W and he’s a careful and extremely capable person. Besides, someone there would have let me know if he wasn’t okay. Oh my gosh, has he forgotten his mother? After 18 years, is our relationship at an end? Of course it’s not. He loves me and even when lots of other people occupy his time and his interests, he won’t stop loving his mother. Oh my gosh, is he in love already? Obsessed with someone?  In total lust? Wow – that would totally explain this dearth of contact… Oh my gosh, has he been having sex with someone for, like, DAYS??  THAT would TOtally explain this dearth of contact! … OH MY GOSH, WHY DID I NOT SEND A SUITCASE FULL OF CONDOMS??!!”

So, as you can see, I like to include a healthy dash of crazy in even my good weeks. And it has been a good week. I’ve enjoyed my friends and colleagues and my students were interested enough to keep good discussions going throughout each class. Well, not my stats students, but that’s because 95% of them are paralyzed in the presence of numbers and mathematical symbols. I’ll get them out of that.

Last night was one of those nights where my brain just WOULD NOT shut off, even in sleep. Non-stop dreams, fractured and unrestful and seemingly unconnected. All night. This morning I opened my eyes intending to come out and write about them but of course now the details are gone. All I remember is that it was about work, W at college, friends, work, family, W at college, work, and my 2 feet insisting upon going their own ways. One of them – the right one, I think – was particularly set upon doing his own thing. Yes, my right foot is apparently male.

Task for today:  Corral my restless brain enough to get some work done. Engage my feet in cooperative acts.

Advertisements